A couple of years ago back when I did art, we were asked to draw a picture of what freedom meant to us or something. I drew lots of houses in a big mound thing, all with little doors, and in the hill they were on I wrote out lots of different Cure lyrics in wavy line things. It was all really colourful, and quite childlike but I really liked it. I don't think it showed what freedom meant though, I just got carried away with the idea, but that's the point of art, right? I want to be so many things it's messing with my head at the moment. Being hormonal makes me think about everything. A part of me wants to just get away, and start fresh somewhere new. Not because I'm unhappy here, I feel like I want that challenge, to prove something to myself. But then, most of me wants to stay here and continue admiring the cool, confident people around me, thinking that buying that one new thing will improve my life so much, and make me just like them. At least I know deep down this won't work I guess, but it's really hard to stop wanting things. I should also totally stop obsessing over the little things that don't matter, and concentrate on the big and little things that do.
I want to grow up fast, and be little again all at the same time, and it's really confusing me.
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